I have a two year old son who does not listen.  He hits his sister and pulls her hair.  He gets angry and lashes out by hitting or throwing what ever object is closest to him.  He continues to do everything he knows he is not supposed to it seems just to spite.  I know he knows that it is wrong because right before he does something naughty he asks if it is a no no.  I have tried time out and after two hours of constant struggle finally gave up.  Swatting on the bum does not work either.  He looks at me and says "ow"  then proceeds to do whatever prompted the spankings.  I have no idea what to do next.

What the Expert Says:
Parenting toddlers can be challenging as they push the limits to see what they can get away with.  It is a normal part of growing up, although it often makes us grind our teeth!
Sounds like you already tried time out and swatting the butt without any results.  Try positive reinforcement: reward your son with positive attention for good behaviors.  Most of the time children do not want to get in trouble with parents and if they get positive attention for doing something, they will be more likely to engage in the same behavior again.
Of course, "bad" or unaccepted behaviors must be followed by negative attention (negative reinforcement).  Continue time out, one minute per year of life, as a consequence for those behaviors that you do not approve of.  Make time out a place that is not fun.  That means, do not send your child to his room filled with toys.  Instead, make it a chair in the corner of the living room.  To help your toddler understand the length of time out, set a timer.  When it goes off, he can get up.  If he has a difficult time to sit in the time out, use the bear hug technique: have him sit in your lap for the duration of the time out.  If he fights you, embrace his arm with your arms, and legs with your legs.
Suggested readings:
Where do temper tantrums come from?
Practicing healthy discipline
Best regards.


Please Make Note

Please make note that I, Jessica Lynn Hepner the creator of What Every Parent Should Know, is not giving legal advice. I am not a lawyer. I am giving you knowledge via first hand experiences.

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Save A Life by Angie Kassabie

Save A Life by Angie Kassabie
I URGE ALL MY FRIENDS TO READ & SHARE THIS; YOU COULD SAVE A LOVED ONES LIFE BY KNOWING THIS SIMPLE INFORMATION!!! Stroke has a new indicator! They say if you forward this to ten people, you stand a chance of saving one life. Will you send this along? Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue: During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ...she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 PM Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this. A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. >>RECOGNIZING A STROKE<< Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR. Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions: S *Ask the individual to SMILE. T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. Chicken Soup) R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. I have done my part. Will you?

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