Monday, December 24, 2018

This Time Of Year

I know this time of year is very hard on a  lot of parents. I for one am one of those parents.  Each year around Thanksgiving I feel the overwhelming dread of the upcoming holiday season.  I would like to go to sleep in the beginning of November and then sleep until January 01. That would be perfect for me.
But, since I cannot do that, I have to deal with the pressures and the constant reminder of how I do not have my children to celebrate any holiday with.  And it kills me.
Then this year to make things even more depressing, I have had a recent end of a 22 year long relationship.  So now I am really alone.
Trying to keep my head above the water is a constant struggle.  I just don’t feel up to doing much of anything.
So I was thinking that if I am feeling this way there are bound to be others who must be feeling the same, so I thought just in case I would make a note of some suicide prevention resources for any one who might be in need.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Suicide Prevention Hotline

NIMH Suicide Prevention

Best of Wishes and Happy Holidays…

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Not Ready To Make Nice By Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
I know you said
Why can't you just get over it?
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it
I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets, and I don't mind saying
It's a sad, sad story
When a mother will teach her daughter
That she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better 
Shut up and sing 
Or my life will be over?
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should, what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
Songwriters: Martha Maguire / Natalie Maines / Emily Robison / Dan Wilson


The very first time I heard this song I was in the middle of my own cps case. The chorus is what struck home with me the most.  "I am not ready to make nice, I am not ready to back down, I am still made as hell, and I don't have time to go round and round and round. It's too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could cause I am made as hell cant bring myself to do what it is, I should."   Until this very day the song is almost like anthem to me.  Every time I hear it it sounds just as powerful and explains exactly what I felt then and what I still feel every day of my life. 

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Child Sex Trafficking in America: A Guide for Parents and Guardians

What is Child Sex Trafficking? Child sex trafficking is one of the most common types of commercial sexual exploitation. Child sex trafficking is a high priority at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), because these children are often currently missing and actively being exploited. Child sex trafficking victims include girls, boys, and LGBTQ youth. Victims could be anyone – your daughter, neighbor, or nephew. Knowledge and awareness are key in keeping your loved ones safer. According to the federal Trafficking Victims Protection Act sex trafficking is defined as “the recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining of a person for the purposes of a commercial sex act.”1 Children who are exploited through commercial sex are viewed as victims of severe forms of trafficking in persons, which is sex trafficking “in which a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which the person induced to perform such an act has not attained 18 years of age.”2 A commercial sex act is “any sex act on account of which anything of value is given to or received by any person.”3 How does a child become a victim? Traffickers target vulnerable children and lure them into sex trafficking using physical and psychological manipulation, and sometimes they may resort to violence. Any child may be vulnerable to such a person who promises to meet his or her emotional and physical needs. Often traffickers/pimps will create a seemingly loving or caring relationship with their victim in order to establish trust and allegiance. This manipulative relationship tries to ensure the youth will remain loyal to the exploiter even in the face of severe victimization. These relationships may begin online before progressing to a real-life encounter.
Who are the pimps? Pimps, also known as traffickers, can be anyone, including family members, foster parents, friends, gangs, trusted adults, or “boyfriends,” who profits from the selling of a minor to a buyer. Victims are Targeted – Pimps are predators who seek out vulnerable victims. While any youth can be targeted by a pimp, runaways or children experiencing trouble at home are especially vulnerable. Traffickers know these children have emotional and physical needs that are not often being met and use this to their advantage. Pimps find victims at a variety of venues such as in social networking websites, shopping malls, and schools; on local streets; or at bus stations. Tricked – Pimps are willing to invest a great deal of time and effort in their victim to break down a victim’s natural resistance and suspicion – buying them gifts, providing a place to stay, promising a loving relationship – before revealing their true intent. Frequently victims do not realize the deceptive nature of their trafficker’s interest in them, viewing their pimp as a caretaker and/or boyfriend. Traumatized – A pimp’s use of psychological manipulation causes the child to truly believe the pimp cares for his or her well-being. Coupled with physical control this can make a victim feel trapped and powerless to leave. This “trauma bond” is difficult to break and specialized intervention and services are often necessary.

Is someone you know a victim? Each time a child runs away his or her chance of being targeted increases. Youth being controlled by a trafficker or pimp frequently do not reveal their victimization because of the severe control their trafficker has over them, both physically and psychologically. Also, shame and guilt often keep victims silenced. If something does not seem right, ask questions! Establishing an ongoing, open and non-judgmental dialogue with children is critical to building trust that can create space for prevention and intervention. Last Updated: April 2014 “With the young girls, you promise them heaven, they’ll follow you to hell,”… a pimp convicted of child sex trafficking. I. Urbina. “For Runaways, Sex Buys Survival.” The New York Times. October 26, 2009, page 3. How to keep your child safer One of the most important things you can do to protect your child is to create an environment in which he or she feels comfortable talking with you. Open communication is key. Share the dangers of sex trafficking with your children and encourage them to alert you when they feel uncomfortable in any situation. Often trafficking victims have experienced victimization in the past, and many times this has been inflicted by individuals close to the victim. Do you trust the people with whom your child interacts? Knowing whom your children are with at all times is crucial to protecting their safety. When your daughter or son is online, do you know which sites they are visiting and with whom they are communicating? Taking the time to monitor what your children do and who they are interacting with on the Internet is a VERY important step in keeping your child safer. If something does not seem right, ask questions! Some signs and vulnerabilities to look for  History of sexual abuse. Traffickers will work to identify any vulnerability in a young person’s life and use that to both create a closer bond and maintain future control.  History of running away or current status as a runaway.  Signs of current physical abuse and/or multiple sexually transmitted diseases.  Unstable home life and/or involvement in the child welfare or foster care system.  Inexplicable appearance of gifts, clothing, or other costly items that does not fit the child’s situation. Traffickers often buy gifts for their victims as a way to build a relationship and earn trust.

 Presence of an older boy- or girlfriend. While they may seem “cool,” older friends or boyfriends are not always the caring individuals they appear to be.  Substance abuse of harder drugs. Pimps may also target youth with significant drug addictions as well as use drugs to lure and control their victims.  Withdrawal or lack of interest in previous activities. Due to depression or being forced to spend time with their pimp, victims lose control of their personal lives.  Gang involvement, especially among girls.
 
How to keep your child safer One of the most important things you can do to protect your child is to create an environment in which he or she feels comfortable talking with you. Open communication is key. Share the dangers of sex trafficking with your children and encourage them to alert you when they feel uncomfortable in any situation. Often trafficking victims have experienced victimization in the past, and many times this has been inflicted by individuals close to the victim. Do you trust the people with whom your child interacts? Knowing whom your children are with at all times is crucial to protecting their safety. When your daughter or son is online, do you know which sites they are visiting and with whom they are communicating? Taking the time to monitor what your children do and who they are interacting with on the Internet is a VERY important step in keeping your child safer.

When a child goes missing, the legal guardian should immediately call law enforcement and make a report. Next, call the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST® (1-800-843-5678). Taking the extra step to report missing children to NCMEC ensures that all available resources are being employed to assist in the identification and recovery of that child. If you suspect a case of child sex trafficking, contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® at 1-800-843-5678 or visit www.cybertipline.com


http://victimsofcrime.org/docs/default-source/Trafficking-Trainings/cst-fact-sheet-for-parents-and-guardians-july-2014-final.pdf?sfvrsn=2