April

Little by little the days are coming the one by one my kids have sought me out in search of the truth, and to ask me “Why.”  Up until the other day it had been going well, as well as it could under those circumstances.  But, then the other day I was instant messaged by a  girl named April.  It was my daughter, one of my twins  Her birth name is Aurora but her adopted family, her fathers sister in law, renamed her April.  When she asked me “Why” I began to tell her why, but this time she did not want to hear the truth and she was very angry.  She believes with all her heart the lies that her adopted families have told her and she refuses to hear the truth.  I found out later on that my daughter MaKayla tried also to tell her the truth and Makayla backed up her statements, with “I remember, I was there back then, and I was old enough to remember everything.”  Well even that was of no use.  All the proof I have I cannot yet give to April because she is far to young to know the whole truth.  But the day will come when she will be old enough to see it, and to learn it.  It is then that her whole world will come smashing down around her feet, and her innocence as she knows it will be gone forever.  But for now I will wait and let her live out her fairy tale existence and try to enjoy the rest of her childhood, as a child most definitely should. So for now, to her, I will remain the monster that did  not want her that did not care about her… But my day will come, for now I wait.

April I love you and your brothers and sisters very much, I always loved  you and I always wanted you.  You will see this someday…